Do you ever take something for granted, then go without it, only to miss the actual benefit you had in doing that something to begin with?

Tonight, I meditated, really meditated, for the first time in a long time- about a 40-minute long venture, listening to a lecture by Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee.

I hit some critical level that benefited me greatly, going somewhere in myself that I can’t completely explain. Needless to say, I realize now that what’s been bothering me so much lately is the fact that I haven’t been properly meditating.

Sure, I’ve tried a few times, and I’ve meditated for about 10 minutes at a time before falling asleep, but I haven’t actually sat down and given it a worthy go in a while.

My moods had been suffering, my thoughts had been suffering, my life had been suffering, and then when I meditated tonight, I was able to see the “why” of all those things. A new boost of confidence has hit me, something that feels right, something that feels good, something that tells me that everything’s going to be okay.

Like many intellectuals and artists who are moody, I have the tendency to be able to think myself into a bad mood and then find myself unable to extricate myself from the mire of a bad mood into which I’ve thrust myself. But if one can think oneself into a bad mood, one reasons that one should be able to think oneself into a good mood.

That tends to be pretty difficult. Sometimes, a simple thought will change my whole outlook on things, and my entire world will suddenly turn back to being 100% okay. A lot of times, though, it seems like everything is hopeless and rapidly spiraling in the wrong direction.

Maybe things are just simpler than I give then credit for. Or maybe they’re so dauntingly complex that I don’t want to spend my time attempting to think about them.

Either way, meditation made me feel better, so I highly recommend it.

Beaux


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