Maybe God put me on the fast track to Him.

One thing after the next, but it must be offered up to God, again and again and again, until there is nothing left to offer.
There is pain, but the pain isn’t something I understand. There is disappointment, but there is a tired and great stillness below it all.
What is it that I want?
My confusion is great about what should happen. I seem to automatically be yielding to God, not knowing what it is that God wants for me and from me in my suffering, but I offer it to Him anyway. Perhaps it is merely ego that assumes that the suffering will somehow enlighten me, that somehow there’s something good to come of it, but why else would there be such suffering?
The nature of the Absolute is mysterious. The nature of the suffering is mysterious. Everything seems to be a great void in this moment, but there is pain, too- emotional hardship that others wouldn’t necessarily grasp.
On another level, I feel that it’s difficult to keep holding on. There’s not much more of me to go. There’s not much more of an ego that can be here, is there? I can’t imagine that there is. I can’t imagine that there’s much left to suffer, to be miserable, to hurt.
After I finish reading Bernadette Roberts, it’s own to the Dark Night of the Soul.
I pray that I know the right thing to do. I pray for love, love of God and love of fellow man.
Red State Mystic: I haven’t forgotten the blog about grace and taking things, I promise you. What’s happening now necessarily ties in.
Beaux


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