So, here I find myself in that great Void once again, the Void where suddenly God no longer exists and all meaningfulness is stripped from life.

This time, there is a kind of difference, though, one that’s difficult to explain. The last time this happened, I pushed through, realizing the situation was but temporary and that the Void of God was only a Veil; indeed, I come this time into this situation (if indeed I am present at all) with that insight held firmly.

The disappearance of meaningfulness is another phenomenon altogether. Infinite meaning seems to be something I have enshrined, but at the moment, there is no value and no not-value. Meaningfulness isn’t an issue; things just kind of exist.

As with so many states, this isn’t consistent and permanent. Today has moved me in and out of it at various points.

Something truly phenomenal is happening in the world.

Light. There is more light. Everything has a slightly shimmer to it as I look around. I close my eyes, and I see light on the back of my eyes. Not a strong light mind you, but a light that’s there.

My brain is so exhausted, and maybe this is why I feel so somewhat enlightened.

God, your Chaos and Flux are beautiful, I thought You should know.

Beaux


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