As I’ve noted, the last several weeks and specifically last several days have seen me having an immense amount of psycho-spiritual work being done on myself.

Mostly, I go into the pain that I encounter, which is very physically located, usually somewhere in the region of the first and second chakras (and sometimes the third), and I began to feel the pain, over and over and over again, thinking when I can and trying to find the source of the pain: what am I believing, what am I really experiencing, what’s really happened that makes me feel this or that way?

A great deal of the pain, as I’ve come to find out, has been crystalized; that is, emotional patterns are so old and so strong that one cannot just “clear” them out. First the crystalized pain must be broken up, and how exactly this has happened, I’m not sure.

In meditation, there appeared a sense of a flame burning within me, a tall, ultra-violet colored flame that I have often referred to as “the Black Fire.” What exactly the Black Fire is, I am not exactly sure; I suppose this may be the “shakti” of the Hindu traditions, and certainly the Black Fire seems to have an association with Christ and the Holy Spirit. The Black Fire could simply be my own life force, my own personal energy, or it could be an energy that’s coming from God. I cannot know for sure at this point.

Either way, focusing on the fire’s very real presence and attempting to use it to break up my old emotional patterns seems to have been helpful. Sleep is very important in all this as well, along with meditation that is focused on simply clearing the mind; the resting of the mind allows the physical processing to take place more smoothly, or so it would seem

The energy largely moves from the first and second chakras to the third chakra, from what I’ve seen. The higher chakras needs the energy of the lower chakras; in other words, if you have no energy in your lower chakras, if they aren’t powerful, clean, and balanced, that, is psychologically healthy and integrated, then the higher chakras have no access to said power, or at least the power that they receive is incredibly limited.

The emotional content in the lower chakras is decidedly non-verbal or pre-verbal; most of it appears to be old and locked up and so far forgotten from conscious memories that a great deal of facing the emotions appears to be speculation, but the energy is real throughout it all. Facing the energy becomes hit-or-miss; resolving an emotional conflict can only be verified after one has faced it sufficiently and is presented with said situation again, at which time one can verify whether or not the emotional pattern is still enacting.

The old emotions and energy overall appear to be stored throughout the body. This is amazing to me, considering we don’t normally think in terms of emotions being physical or part of the body, and yet somehow they are or overlap with the body.

Maybe I’m wrong, but the ego of the human being seems largely to be a product of the emotional blockages in our chakras. Dissolve the blockages (much more difficult in practice than in theory), and the ego, too, dissolves. Or so one would think, but will it really? This is a good question, and time will yield the answer.

Beaux


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