Belated Updates


So much to say, so little time. So many thoughts that I’ve not been sharing.

Several days ago, I made an “executive decision” to create a kind of religious retreat for myself. This retreat requires a few simple things, the main thing being to try to get me to meditate more each day. I will say for the past few days, I’ve chanted much earlier than usual, so that’s something.

For a month or so, I plan to simply keep to myself and not go out more than the few scheduled times I set up. Friday is typically going to be my outing. Around the end of September, I’ll lift the self-imposed cloister, and I’ll return to daily life in whatever way.

My main issue is having avoided meditation so much. It isn’t that I haven’t meditated; it’s that meditation has ended up coming at the very end of the day and only for a few minutes at that, and I can’t put myself in that position. Meditation, like prayer, affects one even if one isn’t meditating or praying.

I don’t know if I’ve spoken about “spiritual delay” yet, but spirituality is not like fast food. Mysticism is not McMysticism; you cannot meditate and expect things to just magically be okay 10 minutes later. That’s just NOT how it works. Yes, you will eventually see the results, but for whatever reason, they’re delayed, and it’s a difficult thing to explain how and why this happens.

Prayer today may result in a sudden descent of God’s Grace three days later, abruptly. Visualizing something intently today may result in its appearing two weeks later when I don’t care to have it anymore. Maybe that’s a method of God teaching us a lesson or something.

My organized prayers have fallen through again, too, but the good news is that all the problems I had trying to reconcile various religious traditions with one another have essentially fallen through as I’ve gone to a deeper level in understanding them. That’s how I end up using Hindu chants and praying to the Sacred Heart of Jesus all at the same time; Gnostics are allowed to do this, you see, as these things facilitate gnosis and bring us closer to God. That’s what matters.

I spoke with Erik the other night about Gnostic views of the Holy Eucharist, and of course, the Gnostic views of the change in the bread and wine parallel those of the Anglicans in some ways- the acknowledgement of a spiritual change, though the spiritual change is a complete and utter change; the bread and wine DO completely change, but naturally, it is ultimately a mystery we cannot explain.

We also pointed out something very interesting as well- Lutherans don’t seem to often acknowledge any kind of change in the bread and wine. Communion is simply a blessing of bread and wine, not the actual sacramental union or whatever Lutheran terminology is supposed to be. The technicality may be consubstantiation, but this often seems to be unknown to Lutherans.

By contrast, Episcopalians will not be happy if you tell them the bread and wine aren’t really the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of the Lord Jesus Christ. You’re not going to sell Anglo-Catholics and your garden variety High Church Episcopalians on the “Hey, it’s just a symbol, folks!” ilk; it’s just not going to happen.

While I’m sure there are Episcopalians who don’t acknowledge the Real Presence, they’re most likely in the minority.

And at this point, I understand this entry isn’t helping anyone, so I’m just going to stop here.

Anyway, I’m having to incorporate a HUGE amount of what I know about mysticism and spirituality and really jump in and start using it. I find a lot of times that whatever I do or say or practice seems to work for a while, then it begins to stop working or seems less effective; maybe I’m just craving novelty? I’m not totally sure what the issue is here. But lately, I’ve really begun to understand how things work, and I’m going from that level.

More later. I’ll try to update more frequently, especially now that I’ll have more free time.



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Hear the cry of Thy servants, O Allah!


For now is the time


Return the Longing to the hearts of all mankind


O Lord, break the Heart of Humanity


That we may know the Deep Sorrow of Penitence!


Return to this world Meaningfulness


O, Allah, forsake us not!


Break our hearts


Break our hearts until they are filled with Thee


Set the earth ablaze with Thy Love


And let no creature escape Its Pain


Hear our cry, O Lord! Hear our cry!


Return Thy Longing to this world


And let our tongues confess Thee in all things


Let each breath speak of Thee


Let each beat of the heart cry to Thee


For Thy Love is All, and All is Thy Love!

A Response

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This is in response to an entry I read here. 


A few thoughts here.


First, if this blog entry is simply a joke (which I sincerely believe it must be, as insane as it sounds), you’ll have to forgive me for what I’m about to say. Otherwise, ignore this comment, and proceed.


You haven’t convinced anyone- and by anyone, I mean anyone at all- that Roman Catholicism is somehow superior to Anglicanism in writing this blog. In fact, your snide attitude strikes me as anything but Christian- like, not a drop of charity, not any sign of loving God OR your neighbor in here. Pretty much the entire blog is your attempt to feel better than other people by spewing your ill-founded and uninformed opinions, and that would fall under the capital sin of pride, JUST so you know.


I’ve seen a few Catholics who have this same attitude, and honestly, it just drives me (and others) further from converting to Roman Catholicism. In fact, if I were Roman Catholic and saw this entry, I would probably leave the Church by virtue of not wanting to be associated with the nastiness here.

It’s interesting that I’ve also met Catholics who are quite the opposite of this and are highly interested in both a traditional Mass AND a widespread embrace of all people.

Oh, and if you REALLY want to play hardball, the Roman Church could be called the Pope’s Little Social Club, whereby the True Catholics have declared their independence. But of course, since YOU and YOU ALONE are right about EVERYTHING, I guess that doesn’t really matter.

Given, this is an old blog entry apparently, and maybe somewhere, you’ve matured. But if not, take my words into consideration; so long, and thanks for all the fish, honey pie!


On Challenging Some Atheistic Claims

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As I reminisce back to the days when I became agnostic (Alanis Morissette does take me back often), I think of the claim so many atheists make against people of any spiritual persuasion and how they seem to think it’s about the religion just being a crutch of sorts.

Well, I’ll take it, and I’ll run with this.

Let me explain something to you: if you are so happy and so psychologically balanced and materially prosperous that you don’t have any kind of impulse whatsoever to be affiliated with a religion, whether organized or not, then good for you. I’m very happy for you, indeed, and in truth. You don’t need to believe or experience something greater than yourself? Kudos.

I cannot make such similar claims about reality, and I can’t claim to say I know everything about reality. It’s very true that I’m even now influenced by a kind of agnostic position on things- I definitely experience things and what I would call “God,” but I don’t necessarily know what I make of it, and I make attempts to not speculate too much on what’s happening.

The point is, in the words of Alanis, “We all needed Something to pray to.” Yes. I need the religious experience to keep my sanity.

Of course, I do think the majority of religionists don’t know what’s going on with their religion or don’t really get it. I would be less polite and deem them outright fuckwits if I didn’t know better, but the reality is that a lot of religionists (and a lot of atheists) are fuckwits.


In a way, I think I might actually be in agreement with a great number of people who deem themselves atheists on many things. I do think that atheists have the need for approaching things more objectively correct. However, one cannot leave out the subjective component of life completely and expect to get somewhere; it’s just not possible to do that as humans.

Forgive my having not updated recently; I’ve had a lot going on inside of myself, and some of my best conversations have been happening with my spiritual buddies, including a Red State Mystic. He’s the go-to guy if you want to have an in-depth conversation with the Christians who actually get what Jesus is about.

Okay, end blog.



Great Comment on Divine Law in Religion and some thoughts (via My Caravan of Dream)

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A great blog explaining one of my major positions on religion in general.

From a previous post: "Each religion has its laws which are none other than the Eternal immutable Divine laws clothed in the garbs of the particular society, times and people." As different religions have different laws – that sometimes contradict each other – it seems it is not the laws that bring us closer to the Divine. The laws are a means and not an end. Following strict laws every second of your life disciplines the mind, body and soul. Whi … Read More

via My Caravan of Dream

Sorry for the Late Post and Odd Text: Prayers

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Recently, I’ve made an attempt to strucure my prayer life better than before. Praying on one’s knees, crossing one’s self, and bowing at the Name “Jesus” certainly creates a greater sense of reverence inside of me.


For many years, I’ve owned a book called The Essential Catholic Prayer Book. I bought it in 2007 or 2008, along with the Catechism of the Catholic Church, intent on trying to penetrate the mysteries of the faith.


It is unfortunate that during my journey with and through Christianity that I came so many times back to the realization that the political issues within the Church turned me off. I’ve had a difficult time separating the individual perspectives from the desire for an objective sort of truth or standard of measurement. To this day, I certainly cringe at the word “Protestant,” as it makes me think of poorly decorated churches and undeducated people taking the religion way too seriously. That’s a horrible take on Protestantism, I know, and as I mentioned recently, I do think that I have more sympathy with Martin Luther than with any of the other reformers.



I could definitely handle the label “Reformed Catholic” more easily than I could handle the label “Protestant.” But that’s not what this entry is about.


Most of the time I would pray certain prayers from this book, but the order was unstructured and seemed whimisical. The Catholics have taught me that the order of things, the structure of things, gives a good reflection of the Truth in certain moments, and so here I’ll present my section of prayers.


I created a list of Seven Movements of the Prayers. Traditionally, the Seven Movements would be prayed by monks and nuns over the course of an entire day. I don’t know that I’ll be able to orchestrate my own day in the manner, but there are Seven Movements nonetheless.


First, I pray the Acts of Faith, Love, Hope, and Contrition; this sets the stage for me to open myself to God and the best of the Christian virtues.


Second, I pray what my book calls the Universal Prayer. This is traditionally a post-Mass prayer, but it’s quite lovely and speaks to my soul in all moments.The point of this is to offer praise to God.


Third, I offer prayers on behalf of the sick, dying, and the dead. This helps to focus on someone else besides me.


Fourth, I offer prayers of gratitude and character, which deal specifically with my neighbors and my relation to Creation.


Fifth, I offer my Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. For many reasons, I consider this to be the most important of the prayers offered.


Sixth, I offer my Devotion to Our Lady.


Seventh, various prayers to the Saints and Angels are asked so that they may help us and intercede for us.


Last night when I went through the whole lot of prayers, I think it took about 30 minutes. I had certain songs downloading on Youtube, so I took a few breaks.


Maybe I should break up the prayers into 3 Movements or so and then pray them at various times of the day.


One thing’s for sure- kneeling also gets your butt in shape. That’s the great part they never tell you.