First off, today marked my fourth Mass at St. Michael’s Episcopal Church in Ozark, Alabama. That tops the three Masses I went to at St. Mark’s in Troy, Alabama. The main thing that has changed: I am going to Mass for Christ and not for myself. That’s an incredible shift in my own consciousness.

Another good point is that since I am single at this point in my life, I attend Mass with a full dedication to Christ and can put my full focus on Him. I felt a bit uncomfortable before when I went with my then-boyfriend, as I felt I was ignoring him or not giving him the due attention. However, there was also the reality that we weren’t totally able to be open about our relationship and so on at the church on the one hand, so perhaps that played into it.

The mystical experiences to note:

One night, I had the experience of everyone being part of the Body of Christ. The mystical Body of Christ is a reality, not a metaphor. Unfortunately, Christianity often enough gets everything backwards: what is literal is taken as symbolic and what is symbolic is taken as literal. This is highly bothersome.

At any rate, the experience accorded to me that everyone is a part of THE BODY of Christ, that we are substantially, in a flesh-and-blood sort of way, made out of His very Body. Receiving the Eucharist reveals this Truth in our own bodies- the Truth of our Oneness with God and each other. This is a very real and vital sort of thing, not just a strange, flowing, undefined energetic sort of way; it’s like being a great, organic body, connected in a direct and real manner.

The next experience: as I drove to Mass today, I had the experience of Christ being on the cross, high in the sky, and all reality being united to Him. Then, I had the experience of seeing myself melt away, along with all people melt away, to reveal that underneath, we are all actually Christ. So to treat another human being in a certain way is verily to treat Christ in that way.

This comes around to a picture that my friend Richard posted recently of a man shooting heroin into his vein, showing that in doing so, he, too, is shooting heroin into the body of Jesus. The point, then, is that not only is it a matter of what we do to another person, BUT HOW WE TREAT OURSELVES, a point that is not emphasized enough in Christianity.

In the Second Great Commandment of Christ, we are told to love our neighbor as ourselves; the implication, then, is that we must FIRST love ourselves, for if we hate ourselves, we will hate our neighbor as well.

The final revelation that occurred today happened as I took a walk and, with my mala-turned-chotki, I prayed the Name of Jesus or the so-called Jesus Prayer. After a time, I began to see the shimmering in everything; there’s a strange shimmering that’s appeared more and more these days, perhaps a function of meditating more on the Third Eye. Either way, I see a light, a shimmering, in things that I have only begun seeing since a little before starting to go to Mass and probably after I started doing the meditation on the Secret of the Golden Flower.

All I can say is, “Praise be to God.”

I hope my words can be of use to others, that they either take encouragement from them or find parallels in their own mysticism.

Beaux

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