As I’ve mentioned in the past, the repetition of the Name of God has been, for lack of better words, sometimes a complete and utter waste of time- seemingly.


I also should point out that when I finally said that I would stop saying it, my life went to hell.


Anyway, today, I noticed that I could focus with a certain part of my mind and actually have a deeper sense of myself. This focus eventually led to my heart chakra and began slowly unblocking it, at least temporarily.


This almost seemed like I had to use a certain part of my brain to do this, and that I was accessing my heart through my brain- a strange and wonderful feat.


Now, as this continued, I also had the radio on, and listening to music, I enjoyed myself and the music, and I had a sense that I was the music- that there was no person in me to be separate from it. I also had the sense that the Earth itself was a god, a living, breathing, gigantic entity. This was quite in contrast to the sense that it’s all made of dead matter with some kind of life growing out of it.


I also had a sense that this kind of stillness inside of me was something like what death was; everything seems to right, so perfect in itself, and I knew that everything would be okay even when I passed from this world.


Perhaps this a foretaste of the mystical states that are to come.


I certainly have a deeper sense of understanding of music, rhythms, all such things in this state. A large part of it seems to come from not releasing myself sexually for several days and working to transmute the energy. I’m still doing the Secret of the Golden Flower meditation, though I don’t seem to have a body of light, haha.