Today, after having odd dreams of looking for porn, I experienced a level of the “masculine” archetype in which it expressed itself as several and not one. This was curious to me because I don’t recall having a real-time experience of an archetype as “many.”

Being in the grip of a particular archetype is definitely akin to being at the altar of a god demanding worship. The archetype will get what it wants, one way or the other- either you will consciously comply or you will unconsciously submit to whatever the archetypes wants.

At this point, I’m almost convinced that all gods, all spirits, all entities are in fact archetypal or “inner-world” forces; that is to say, I’m not sure they exist outside of us, but I won’t tread terribly into that territory because it becomes confusing to try to explain it. 

I will say this: the archetypal realm at least manifests strongly within people’s minds; it’s independence from the human mind is something that may also be real, but I’d rather not speculate too heavily on that and get lost on that route.

I’ve visited the Actual Freedom Trust again, surprise, surprise…again, I’m not thoroughly impressed. A good idea there, yes; and I’m glad that people have achieved liberation. However, 1) I reserve the right to use whatever terminology I damned well please, including but not limited to “enlightenment” and so on, however I damned well please, and 2) in ten years time, the AFT has not once shown that what they’re talking about is a completely different phenomenon than what’s been mentioned in other religions and traditions.

I guess things boil down to the fact that I can’t become a hardcore materialist, not now, and not in the future, and not in the past. “Actually free from the human condition,” yes, I can do that. (Or technically “I” can’t.) 

But beyond that, I reflected earlier today on the fact that the whole “I am my feelings and my feelings are me” bit just isn’t my world view; “I” am my consciousness, and “my” consciousness is “me.”

How to explain?

I guess that I don’t see my emotions and feelings as the ultimate level of being or “selfhood” or whatnot. Yes, my “existence” is ultimately an independent “consciousness,” which indeed different from “mental cognition” as my friend Michael so cleverly pointed out in a long debate we had. 

But I also don’t “believe” that we must die in order to finally have peace. No, I think the ultimate can be had here. 

But what’s wrong with thinking that we can have the ultimate both here and after death? Hmm. Food for thought.

You know, another point to criticize is the huge issue with meditation. Well, frankly, for someone as high-strung as I, meditation is what allows my body to relax enough to get to feeling good in the first place. I’m just saying, small technicalities such as these are never taken into consideration. 

Another point: my mood, my general level of feeling good, as it were, is always much, MUCH higher when I have meditated within the last 24 hours. So let’s focus on the benefits of things instead of making sweeping generalizations about how everything is so much more ineffective, thaaaanks.