So much as happened.

A few weeks ago, the French movieĀ The Nun debuted on Netflix. I had written it down among movies that I wanted to see and was pleased to be able to watch it.

My love for the Catholic imagery and style of worship rarely diminishes, and this movie caused it to be even more pronounced.

At one point, a nun was praying fervently at the altar to God the Father. And in this moment, seeing her prayer, hearing her address God as “Father,” something clicked in my head.

It’s probably no secret that in the general sense I lean more heavily toward the worship of Christ as the Second Person of the Holy Trinity as well as the Holy Spirit as God the Mother. But God the Father is the Big Mystery, as it were.

Trinitarian Mystery is something that we could go on and on about, but again, I’m attempting to focus: God the Father suddenly made sense to me. The nun was not addressing some petulant tribal deity, but rather, she spoke to the Source of All That Could Ever Be directly and addressed that Source asĀ her very own Father.

The Mystery of God the Father relies on His Absolute Transcendence; while we have ideas and images of God-made-manifest in the world, while we have evidence of saints and miracles and so on, the Father still remains remote, distant, and this is sometimes an unfavorable situation when we see the evil in the world or are ourselves personally suffering.

Again and again the Mystery of God is revealed to me, apparently in bite-sized chunks of gnosis that are easily digestible for the spirit.

One thing is for sure: if I put effort into praying, the effort pays off. I could be calculating things incorrectly, but if I pray tonight, for instance, then the benefits of said prayer will appear in two or three days; which is to say, a dedicated prayer tonight will bring about a good mood and positive thoughts two or three days later.

Now, of course, one shouldn’t pray just to feel good, which is not what I’m doing; I’m offering my sincere devotion to God. And then something happens. It isn’t immediate; if I’m in a bitchy mood and pray, I may still be as bitchy when I’m out of it, but the point is two or three days later, I won’t be, and I’ll in fact be quite happy.

So I give my open and public gratitude to God and to all the benevolent spirits and saints that are praying for me and my loved ones and even my enemies; these good feelings aren’t just my working out the bullshit with myself but come from a deep and fulfilling connection with something that is much greater than I.