Black Fire, Being, and the Sufi Love

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Bhai Sahib said something intriguing in Daughter of Fire about first encountering pure being, then entering in the currents of love and bliss in Dhyana. So that makes me wonder, then, if the Black Fire precedes the Sufi love. If that is the case, then I’ve been in training for longer than I realized, and now I get that I have to see the Black Fire with every last ounce of my life, mind, and body. All the energy must go into it until it reveals whatever mysteries it holds.

Then we’ll see what happens. This is yet another new mission.

Beaux


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PCE? Nirvana? Enlightenment? Moksha? Liberation? Freedom?

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How the experience began, I won’t bring myself to say just now, but we’re going to be discussing a few different things that happened, starting last night.

 

First, I phoned my friend Rheana; we had discussed hanging out and doing spiritual work, but she was rather tired and couldn’t. She mentioned a certain meditation involving the Heart Chakra called the Twin Hearts meditation, which involves visualizing the Earth in your hands and sending love from the Heart Chakra into the Earth, covering everything with love and giving love to every being in the world.

 

I took it upon myself to do this meditation later in the evening, and then, I tried to go to sleep.

 

That’s when the vibrations began.

 

If you’ve read Daughter of Fire by Irina Tweedie, she talks of these vibrations coming at night quite frequently.

 

Necessarily, the energy was coming from the Root Chakra and the Sex Chakra- largely where the kundalini is stored.

 

The energy created all kinds of wonderful feelings of bliss and happiness, of pure infinitude and purity and love and goodness. The intensity was such that it was exhausting the ego, and I must say that I do like this method of destroying the ego with too much happiness more than destroying he ego with too much suffering.

 

My dreams were not as pleasant, which was a surprise. A few different issues came up, most of which I was able to confront when I awoke, but not totally.

 

Then when I awoke today, I was getting ready for work, had gone to the kitchen, and the Grace of God HIT, just in a moment. One second it wasn’t there, and the next second it was, and good grief, it just got better and better and better and I felt happier and happier and happier. The bottom two chakras again seemed to “loosen up,” and the energy moved up to my head.

 

What exactly was going on there, I can’t explain. Reality seemed okay on every front. I think the Higher Self may have disappeared temporarily in addition to the Ego.  Maybe this is the PCE of which the Actual Freedomists speak. However, I noted that I didn’t come to the same conclusions as other people who claim the state of No-Self, but then again, I wasn’t in it for longer than half an hour.

 

One thing that I did notice was that there’s a sense of friendliness with the universe. To put it bluntly, the experience was like being best friends with every atom in the universe. There was no loneliness or isolation or low self-esteem; everything was as it should be, and life was great. My energy or matter was in harmony with all energy and matter.

 

Another aspect of the experience was the relaxation, the calmness. No tension in the body, no stress, no unpleasantness, no sense burden of Self. Very, very intriguing.

 

I wish that experience would happen again. I’ve waited and waited for the wonderful, clear world to return. It’s just all-around GOOD.

 

Beaux

 

Spiraling Path

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The path to God is, oddly enough, not linear by any stretch of the imagination.

In the Western word, we have largely inherited a linear, rationalistic explanation of the world that is rooted in the philosophical traditions of Greece. For scientific purposes, this worldview is absolutely top-notch and has yielded many fruitful results; consider the miracle of the computer I’m using to write this, and you need to observe no further!

However, somewhere along the way, we largely have forgotten that life is not always linear, logical, neat, and organized. This is an aspect of reality, yes; it is not the same as reality overall.

Earlier in the year, I read an incredible book called The Celestine Prophecy. The book gave a brief synopsis of the condition in which we live, which is to say the historical context in which our modern-day American worldview has evolved, going back to the Middle Ages and then proceeding through the Reformation, the Renaissance, and so forth.

The explanation was essentially what I’ve already set forth above, in case you’re wondering.

To my point: when it comes to dealing with God, or if you will, the Truth, the Ultimate Reality, things start getting…weird. Things are not easily packaged or constrained. God cannot be put in a box, so to speak. There is no progress from point A, to point B, to point C, and then BOOM, you arrive. There is no magical formula of 2 + 2 = 4 when it comes to God.

Rather, the path, as I have experienced it, is very much a spiral.

Perhaps this is the inner meaning of why churches build labyrinths for people to walk.

To exemplify what I mean: one day, or perhaps for a few weeks at a time, there is a huge sense of separation from God. I feel irascible at best and outright hateful at worst. No matter what I do, somehow, I see to largely be unable to make any kind of progress spiritually or otherwise. Things for which I should have the utmost gratitude are taken for granted, and my heart is largely closed off to others.

Then, for no apparent reason, days later suddenly I will feel the presence of God in my heart. I will perceive God in the world around me, in the people around me. Life will have a meaning, a purpose, suddenly endowed in it again, and none of it is by my own effort. In this moments, I have gratitude, I have peace, and I want to share the bounty of my joy with others.

And so it is for those insane enough to make the journey to God. Ms. Tweedie, the Sufi mystic, says in a video that in their group the spiral path is called the “yo-yo syndrome,” because you are up and down, up and down.

Spiritual practices are the same way. Some days, prayer and meditation are extremely enlightening, and I feel the love of Christ pouring into me. Other days, God seems to not care, to not be listening, to not exist.

Perhaps the most annoying feature of the spiral path is when I get hurled between two or three different religions. The essence of Sufism burns deep within me, but the beauty of Catholicism and Gnosticism allures me. Then I see the Hindu deities and think, ah! They’re so brilliant and creative, so vivid!

Either way, making a formal commitment to an organized religion is difficult when you’re suddenly tossed in a different direction.

That is the essence of the path, though. You cannot escape it, not really. Or perhaps you can; perhaps there are indeed people who do not go through so much as trouble as I. Ms. Tweedie certainly went through far more trouble, as you can read in her diary, Daughter of Fire. Her trouble was of a different sort, not nearly as intellectual in nature.

To my knowledge, I have never met my so-called “Guru” or “Teacher” in this life, not in a physical sense. Energetically, I seem to have been connected to a Teacher at some point in time, who is perhaps actually my own inner Guru teaching me. Of these things, I cannot be sure at this moment, and with that, I am fine. I have faith that later on, things will be explained and revealed, and I’ll be able to see what was going on in retrospect.

And the path spirals onward.

Beaux