The Little Office of the Blessed Sophia

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The Reverend Erik Winsor’s Little Office of the Blessed Sophia is now out.

I have my copy, and it’s amazing for all the Gnostics out there as well as devotees of Sophia in more mainstream paths.

Our Lady Sophia, pray for us!

Pax vobiscum.


Holy Spirit, Spiritual Delay

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Certainly, I’m severely behind on posting a number of blogs that should have already been up. The main issue has been my being sick recently with various kinds of sinus congestion and colds, plus the strain on my eyes when sitting and staring at a computer screen for a lengthy period of time.

That being said, I should point out one important aspect of spirituality that, if everyone who reads this blog were to ignore and dismiss anything else I’ve written, should be considered and relished and tested out, that of what I personally term “spiritual delay.”

Spiritual delay is something that in our modern culture we must acclimate to, living in this world where we’re accustomed to instant or semi-instant gratification. Spiritual delay is the fact of reality that a prayer or meditation or wish is not most often immediately answered; in fact, it may take some time to receive any kind of substantial or adequate response.

The same is true even with visualization. For instance, one visualizes light on a headache to heal it; the headache doesn’t heal this minute or the next minute, but perhaps within the hour or two or three hours from now, it DOES go away; one prays for the same thing, and the prayer is not immediately answered, yet a few hours later, the prayer IS answered. One repeats the Name of God and sees no immediate benefit of repeating His Name, yet the next day, the bliss of His grace comes to us.

This is something to ALWAYS remember, that the help, that the grace, that the benefit WILL come at some point in time, especially with substantial practice.

Another major realization lately has been of the Holy Spirit and the Wiccan Goddess. The Holy Spirit has been recognized as God the Mother for quite some time among Christian mystics, most notably the Gnostics, and it simply makes sense: God the Father, God the Mother, God the Son. The Trinitarian formula then, is somehow complete with the Divine Feminine being present within it.

I mean to make the association with the Goddess as I always understood her to be associated with the Day, with the Sun, with Light, and so forth, and I see the same to be true of the Holy Spirit; the Holy Spirit is the person of the Holy Trinity that calls us to prayer, that teaches us to pray, the invokes and kindles the Longing and Love for God; verily, we might even say that the Holy Spirit IS THE LONGING FOR GOD. This would account, at least intellectually, for the Sufis saying that one’s Longing for God IS God’s Presence, IS God’s declaration that He is there.

Whatever the case may be, I have personally found that prayer to the Holy Spirit has been the most immediate and intimate relationship to God that I’ve found. This could potentially be because of my background in Pentecostal churches, though I highly doubt that plays as significant of a role as one might guess.

But back to the point, Wicca had a huge emphasis on ritual, and of course, I now see that magic, that ritual, that all these things, the transformation of Will into Reality and so forth, are the domain of the Holy Spirit; it is with a greater certainty that I know the miracles take place because of the Holy Spirit, and that the bread and wine truly become Christ’s Body and Blood BECAUSE of the Holy Spirit; She is, in fact, a key in the Holy Eucharist, and it saddens me to know that despite Her importance, She is often pushed to the side in Christianity and not given proper reverence or emphasis.

Even to me, the importance of the Holy Spirit has been occluded for the past four years as well, and I did wonder many times how She fit into the Holy Trinity and why She was deemed important, how She became more than simply a reference to God’s presence on Earth as the Jehovah’s Witnesses insist. Even Bernadette Roberts, in all her great elucidation of the Christian mystery in her books, seems to focus namely on the Mystery of Christ- indeed, she is not wrong in this, as the Mystery of Christ is inexhaustible- but her reference to the Holy Spirit is the love exchanged between the Father and Son, and no more is really said.

But does not leave us with the full or clear picture of exactly how important She truly is, and that is exactly the mystery into which I’m being drawn.

At the same time, it truly amazes me that in our present world Christianity and its profundity is so often and so easily cheapened. I can’t quite grasp how something that IS so profound can devolve into something that is so treacherous and easy to revile, but such is the nature of corrupted men.

The peace of the Lord be with you.


Long-Time, No Post

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I really, really should be focusing more on the posting of my blogs than I am here. I made a promise to try to post at least once a week and have failed at that as well. Craving Aletheia could be a great resource to discuss my spiritual developments, which is precisely what I founded it in the first place, but for some reason, I’ve simply not had as much to say.

To get to the point now, though, I should remark that I’m still doing the meditation every night and have recently figured out something beneficial. Allowing emotions to arise, allowing thoughts to arise, without completely jumping into them and running with them, is a good idea.

Sigmund Freud postulated that we are often motivated by unconscious and irrational forces. One friend of mine posted this once on his Facebook, only to have several of us stand to attention and begin to smack Freud. But at the same time, when my friend clarified what he meant, I think he does have a point- we are often motivated by unconscious and irrational forces.

To get to the point I need to make about this: once you realize that we are motivated by unconscious and irrational forces (yes, I’ve said this three times now) you begin to realize that we are not responsible for these forces- we cannot help them. That does not mean I advocate that we can on every single impulse we feel- what I mean is that I cannot be held accountable for an impulse that arises that’s beyond my control.

Instead, I opt to watch it, arising, without necessarily involving myself in it. I realize that when my feelings, especially the negative ones, have come up in recent years that I’ve had a horrible tendency to make a value judgment. If I feel hate, for instance, my first reaction is to try to get rid of it as quickly as possible.

A better idea is to observe the hate, to admit that I hate someone, to admit that I have hate burning inside of me, which brings us to another point- another friend of mine recently spoke of his situation and said that he hated someone, but he wasn’t consumed by it- he just hated the person, and that was that.

I realize that if one fights the emotion, one fights the impulses, then they will almost necessarily consume one- to try to stop hate inside of one’s self is to fuel its fire.

So I have to admit that I hate people. I do hate certain people. There are individuals and sometimes even groups of people whom I outright hate, and now I can admit that and forthrightly say that I hate them without holding back- and in the same moment, the consuming power of the hate of such groups is gone. I’m no longer consumed with the hate. Instead, I act in a practical manner and do loving things, if I may put it that way- even if I feel hate.

Eventually, when feeling the hate, when questioning, when examining it, it may fade away, or I may find there’s some kind of complex fueling it and will be able to restructure my thoughts.

This is really the issue I have with Jesus in some regards. He tells us not to hate our enemies- to forgive them and such- and then doesn’t explain how we to do that. I say admittance of the feeling, allowing one’s self to feel that feeling, is the first step, and then introspection is required.

Most of us can’t simply decide to stop feeling something. Most of us can’t simply make a decision that things are going to be a certain way in our minds and then make it that way. Most of us have different kinds of personalities, different kinds of experiences, and most of us are highly, highly socialized in this way or that. So I can’t account for everyone, only the majority of people that I’ve met and what I’ve seen in society.

Anyway, as I was meditating, I decided to get very serious with this Sufi meditation of the heart and drowning things in love. My heart doesn’t normally allow me to feel very much love- it may be some Divine ego-control going on, or it may be that I’m too cold of a person to feel the love in my heart normally, but either way, actually creating love in my heart has been the most difficult feat, not to mention some nights (most nights) I just sit and try to meditate.

I finally did manage to imagine myself diving into my own depths and finding a center where there dwells peace, bliss, and love, and combined with the arising of whatever feelings and allowing them to be dissolved into the love seemed to definitely help me out. I can feel my heart even burning with a bit of the love-fire at this point.

I haven’t felt the Grace of God in a long, long time. I waited and waited in the summer and never felt it. Then autumn arrived, and knowing the first time I felt it in the autumn of 2008, I had a greater sense I would feel it- but no, it wasn’t there are the equinox. Then yesterday, September 30th, I felt HER, the Divine SHE, blow in on the wind, into my work, in my heart, and I smiled and knew that God the Holy Spirit had descended once again in all Her Majesty, bringing with Her all Her Grace and Blessings. I couldn’t help but smile at this point- my heart was so full of joy, so full of hope, so full of love. I even feel tearful now as I write these words because of very, very precious God is in those moments.

I shall now wrap up this blog.



On the Holy Spirit as the Divine Feminine: God the Mother, the Queen of Heaven, the Pagan Goddess

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As I looked at Rosamonde’s pictures, I saw reflected in her the Divine Feminine. There are so many women I’ve known in my life who are in touch with the Goddess, as it were, with their Inner Feminine Reality. They own their femininity, they are beautiful, they are strong, they are powerful, and they are self-aware.

These are the women that the patriarchally obsessed men are afraid of most. Despite hearing about feminazis and how feminism and female promiscuity has destroyed Western society (because patriarchy never caused any problem), the average feminist should not worry these men- though they’re the ones who receive this projection most often. Rather, it is the mystical woman that should send them into states of awe.

But despite this fact, these are also the women who understand the harmony of life, the relation between the masculine and the feminine, and they, in fact, are the ones who do not abuse the Divine Feminine and femininity in general. They are the ones who embrace the Divine Masculine as it relates to the Divine Feminine; there is no war or conflict in them.

Now, to speak of the Holy Spirit. I think it largely due to my being in an Assembly of God church when I was younger, a Pentecostal or charismatic church, as we know them generally, that the Holy Spirit became such an incredible influence in my life. To the orthodox Christian, the Holy Spirit is certainly the most mysterious member of the Holy Trinity- the Old Testament speaks of God the Father as YHWH, and the New Testament is almost wholly about God the Son. God the Holy Spirit makes a few appearances, which are often vague and not really frequent. To the Gnostic Christian, however, certainly God the Father, Who is much more transcendent than the Old Testament YHWH, is the most mysterious member of the Holy Trinity, but that is not the focus of this entry.

First, allow me to say that the Holy Trinity was absolutely the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard the first time I was told of this particular theological concept. How is it that one has God the Father and then God the Son, but that they are actually One God? And how does the Holy Spirit, Who is mentioned much less frequently, incorporated into the Holy Trinity?

The rationalistic part of my mind has an easy explanation for this that likely won’t surprise the reader: the Holy Trinity developed because of the great focus that was placed on Jesus by the Christians, and as Jesus came to be worshiped, it was understand that only God could be worshiped; therefore, Jesus must necessarily be incorporated into God.

But that leaves out the Holy Spirit. That doesn’t explain how the Spirit fits into the Trinity.

That is not the focus of this entry, so we won’t dwell there.

The Holy Spirit, as far as I understand, is actually God the Mother. Thus we have God the Son, God the Mother, and God the Father- and this makes sense.

The Spirit is known as the comforter- it is the Mother, the Feminine which comforts. So, too, is the Spirit referred to as the “Giver of Life.” It is the Feminine which brings life forth in this world.

The Holy Spirit is the one who overshadowed the Blessed Virgin Mary- it is not that the Spirit impregnated her so much as it is that the Virgin Mary reflected the Holy Spirit’s power to create virginally.

Many of the charismatic churches display signs that are similar to the awakening of the kundalini energy according to the Eastern religions. The kundalini energy is necessarily associated with the goddess Shakti- the feminine and creative element and power of the masculine Shiva.

The Holy Spirit is also regarded to be the immanent aspect of God, in that the Spirit is everywhere- there is nowhere that the Spirit is not. Immanence is a Feminine principle, whereas Transcendence is a Masculine one.

After my original bout with Christianity, I was drawn to Paganism, as I’ve documented in earlier entries. The Goddess spirituality in particular drew me, and now I understand why- I had already been in touch with the Divine Feminine for a long time, and so it was natural for me to be drawn to an expanded worldview and understanding of the Divine Feminine.

Now, the full circle has arrived, and the relationship to the Divine Feminine has again fit back into the Gnostic/Christian context. The Queen of Heaven is truly God Herself, the Holy Spirit- and it has always been this way. Her time has come, Her time has come, for us adore Her in this world, praise be to God.

Not everyone will agree with me. There are many who would vehemently deny my opinions on this matter, many who would be horrified that I suggest God the Holy Spirit is indeed God the Mother, but I maintain this position, both from my own experience and my own reasoning, and I welcome Her in my life to share with others and bring peace to this troubled world.