Perceptual Changes and More

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Perceptual changes as of late that should be noted:

I seem to have a greater and automatic focus on experiencing the world through my senses. It’s difficult to explain what I mean by this, but there’s certainly a very “this world” focus on the one hand, though my mind often seems to go blank or be clear.

The “tiredness” has returned lately; I feel like a kind of blanket is held over the front of my brain, and thinking, as well as writing, becomes a kind of effort that has to be made. Lying in bed, very still, can create a great deal of bliss for me; last night, I lay in bed and had a heating pad on my head to help keep me warm, and I felt such incredible bliss there unlike what I normally feel.

Certain sexual energies seem to be lessening for me; this isn’t consistent, but sexual pleasure seems to have been stripped from me to some degree. It’s just as well, as through the Holy Spirit, I have experienced a fullness and completeness that sexuality has never granted me.

Another recent insight I’ve had lately is that what I truly want is Nirvana, not only for myself, but for all sentient beings, as the Buddhists would say; my most fervent prayer to God is for everyone, even my worst enemies, even Satan itself, to be brought to salvation in Nirvana; Nirvana not only for myself but for everyone and everything. This is the only true purpose that can exist in reality.

The completeness of the Holy Trinity has been revealed in the Holy Spirit, and yet I am left without a particular abstraction or mental construct by which to express the completeness. God is never-ending; God is always-continuing; God is eternal, but not eternal in a way which seems suffocating or crushing; God’s eternity is simply beyond words that explain what’s happening. There is no lacking in God, while in humans, we seem to have a very basic nature of “lack.”

I lay in bed last night and felt my prayer going to God, my glorification of God, while the true glorifying agent is the Holy Spirit, God the Mother, praising God through me. Suffice it to say that God the Mother offers God the Son to God the Father through us, in a Mystery of God that is profound and deep and that I cannot begin to explain; we may participate in this by surrendering ourselves willingly to God, but it seems rather like God’s actually got all the bases covered, and we’re not really necessary in the process too terribly much. It’s almost as though I observe something happening but don’t cause it to happen.

Anyway, there was a sense of completeness in glorifying God; not glorification in the sense of petition or because I wanted anything, but because it is the nature of man to want to honor and praise something greater than himself.

And of course, the glorification is a sense of fullness and joy, mixed often with longing; it isn’t the corny sort of modern Christian worship that’s hollow and devoid of the very things it seeks to express. This is different; this is more; this is REAL. There’s something substantial here.

Several times, I’ve also noticed that I don’t have the same kind of arousal of emotions as I used to; this isn’t consistent, but during this period, it’s rare for me to experience extreme emotions, either good or bad. Instead, there’s a kind of constant steadiness in the tiredness. I do have emotions that appear at times, though the cognitive component seems at times to be worse than any kind of physical passion associated with it.

Beaux

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On the Sacrifice of the Lord Christ

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Another issue that has come about more recently is the de-emphasis of the crucifixion and death of Christ on the cross. While the matter is open to interpretation, especially among Gnostics, I think an issue is of making the Incarnation itself the true sacrifice and disregarding the rest of the mystery of the life of Christ.

 

 

In fact, I think we can resolve rather easily the issues regarding the esteem of the Blessed Virgin Mary as the Mother of God and Co-Redemptrix and Mediatrix by focusing on the Incarnation, and so, too, we can uphold the power of the Crucifixion, all at once, if we look to the true Mystery of Christ.

And here the true Mystery is clear enough: it is not strictly the Incarnation, the Crucifixion, or the Resurrection that matter; rather, THE ENTIRE LIFE OF CHRIST IS THE ACT OF REDEMPTION ITSELF; CHRIST IS THE BEING OF REDEMPTION, THE PROOF AND ETERNAL EXISTENCE OF REDEMPTION.

What I mean to convey here is that the Mystery of Christ is not that He comes along and somehow “completes” the Hebrew tradition, as is the notion held by many modern Evangelicals; rather, Christ IS the Mystery of Salvation, of Sacrifice for the sake of Love, and so forth.

To address Mary’s role in this, I should say that God could have simply “appeared” somewhere without going through the process of human life, from beginning to end; instead, He chose a woman, a human being, through whom to manifest. Mary’s cooperation in the process of salvation seems, then, to take on a much larger role; indeed, she could not have been any ordinary woman.

The archetypal dimension of these things may speak of something quite different, where Mary is the potential of matter to give birth to Divinity that is both man and God. Perhaps this is the true mystery that happens all along; truly, the Eucharist is the revelation of the latent Christ within matter, and each Eucharist encompasses the celebration of Incarnation, Passion, Crucifixion, Death, Resurrection, and Ascension.

I wish the Mystery were less obfuscated by the legalism and attempt of modernism of the various Churches. Maybe Christ will one day reunite all the Churches to Himself again. In the meantime, I will devote myself to His Most Sacred Heart and pray most fervently that the Unknown Father would reveal Himself to us in whatever ways He can.

Beaux

Mytho-Location

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Have you ever watched a movie with friends, and you were all able to declare which character you were in the movie? Or have you read a book and found yourself identifying heavily with one character or another?

Now, let’s take this a step deeper: have you ever read ancient mythology and felt this kind of kindredness to certain characters?

What about the Bible?

I think it’s an experiment worth trying.

I call this process of identifying one’s self in a story as “mytho-location.” That is, the locating of one’s self inside a myth, legend, novel, plot, and what have you.

In Christianity, I daresay the vast majority of people might then read the Bible and identify most heavily with the various Apostles and disciples of Jesus. That is, they are the spectators, the informants, the confidants, of Christ; they pay attention to His Passion, Crucifixion, and Resurrection, but they themselves do not go through it.

Few of us would dare go to the extent of identifying with Christ Himself. Most would shy away from doing this out the outrageous notion of one equating one’s self with God, and others would realize that though this isn’t what one means, identifying with Christ in the Gospel narrative would entail also suffering as He did.

Perhaps we can gather that this is precisely what the Apostles realized later on, as each one of them was martyred- they accepted their identification with Christ and His Passion and endured a fate similar to His.

So anyone who is insane enough to embark on the mystic quest of the good Christian understands that he, too, will be crucified in spirit, and that is not a path for everyone to endure.

Where do you locate yourself in the Christ narrative?

Beaux