Anxiety

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Anxiety is never a pretty experience with which to deal. To properly understand anxiety, perhaps we should make a quick definition of it.

Anxiety is not synonymous with fear; rather, anxiety may be classified as a type of fear. The difference between outright fear and anxiety is that when one is afraid, there is a specific source of the fear; one knows what one is afraid of. One fears a snake biting one, for instance.

Anxiety, on the other hand, is a fear that has no specific source, or the source is generalized and not well-understood.

Anxiety may also be in the realm of worry; for instance, one worries and experiences worrying without knowing what exactly is causing the worry.

This is the world into which I’ve been plunged over the past few days. Whether the anxiety is a mere process of irrational psychological elements or is an intuitive perception that something is wrong with me or someone else is unknown at this point, and I can say that I really wish I knew what was going on.

Or perhaps I don’t really wish I knew what was going on!

Sometimes, when one experiences an inexplicable emotion, it is because the feelings have been carried on the current of humanity and brought to one. Someone you care about is upset or worried, and you somehow pick up on this things, even non-locally.

Maybe there is more to be said that simply can’t be stated aloud, and that’s fine by me.

I pray that all things are well, though.

(Author’s Note: I wrote this blog sometime last week when my anxiety was pretty high. Since then, I’ve come down from it, but this blog was still worth posting.)

Beaux


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The Visions During Reiki Treatment

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Oftentimes, my friends Kelly and Michael get together with small groups of people to have dialogue and exchange about life and love, to tackle things in a very modern sort of mystical way by “bringing God into the marketplace,” as they say.

Kelly, Michael, and my friend Rheana encouraged me to let Kelly do a Reiki treatment on me. For a while, my schedule conflicted, but finally we were able to do the treatment, and am I glad that I did.

For those of you who are unaware, Reiki is something of an energy massage. The actual explanation is that the energy from the Absolute is diluted into the forms of Gods, Angels, Messengers, what have you, and that the Reiki master further dilutes this energy into a form that the person receiving Reiki can receive.

The only problem is that I felt the old skeptical part of myself rise up several times, wanting to condemn Reiki. But the result of the treatment was rather interesting.

First, I relaxed. I mean, I actually relaxed. That’s rare for me, for sure. The relaxation was so great that I actually made myself slightly sick by moving too quickly when I turned to lie face-down. My body hasn’t been that still in a long, long time.

Second, I had what one might call visions, two of which, in particular, stand out to me and that I will mention here.

The first such “vision” was of a female version of myself. She was naked and looked almost identical to me. She only said one thing to me, in a very kind way: “We are One and the Same.” She felt in many ways like my long-lost sister, and I had the feeling of being her brother and related to her in a brotherly way. It was very peaceful to see her.

The second vision was of being in a Garden and seeing a snake-woman. The woman was naked, her breasts had no nipples, she was green all over, but a pale sort of green, and her snake part began around the hips. Also, her hair was green as well, pulled back in a pony-tail.

We were in a clearing in a lush, verdant forest, and the snake-woman began to play a violin, of all things. The music she played was beautiful and entrancing.

The treatment left me worried to drive, thinking that I might be ungrounded. Luckily several things went wrong at once, so the irritation brought me back down to Earth.

Later, I was reading Carl Jung’s The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious when I came upon mentioning of a Gnostic book called the Book of Baruch. Lo and behold, he began to talk about a character name Edem, who was, in fact, a snake-woman in the Garden of Eden! I kid you not, this happened a week or so after I had that very sort of vision during my Reiki treatment.

I haven’t especially looked into the meaning of Edem, but I do happen to have a copy of the Book of Baruch in my book called The Gnostic Bible, and I’ll definitely be reading that particular scripture to see what all I can make of it. I’ll blog about all my findings.

Beaux